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Welcome to a practical pastoral counseling site of Dr. Harold L. White

 Every pastor can be a valued and competent counselor.


The chart above can be found on page 169 of “Keeping The Love You Find” by Harville Hendrix

This chart shows many complex issues in our nurturing and socialization.
Understanding how the process of unhealthy parenting works can be confusing.

As you look at the chart you will see that it details the interacting cycle of nurturing
and socialization deficits from birth to about the age of 19.

It graphically illustrates the progress and of losses and repressions that lead to the fears
and adaptations that arise at each stage.
I found this to be important for me as a counselor in understanding why people are like they are.
This information is invaluable for the counselor and for parents.
The counselor can share this information with parents and others who will profit from this. 

What to the parts of us that are buried or distorted by the socialization process?
Where does the blocked energy go -- the parts of us that are unacceptable, suppressed, ridiculed,
or unacknowledged?

Hendrix says that the fugitive self goes underground, and will surface again with their partners in marriage
and in the conflict we have with them.


New material to be added:

The Hidden Self

The Lost Self

The Denied Self

The False Self

Putting Ourselves Back Together

Most of this information is from “Keeping The Love Your Find” by Harville Hendrix.
I have recommended this book to many men and women.
Anyone going through this book will have what would amount to spending two years with
an excellent psychologist -- which could amount to hundreds of dollars of fees.
This book is well documented with the best that the great psychologists have provided in their studies.

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