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Welcome to a practical pastoral counseling site of Dr. Harold L. White

 Every pastor can be a valued and competent counselor.

The Script Check List

In order to tell whether or not a certain set of transactions is a game, you look for certain
special features.
If there is a con, a handle or gimmick, a switch, and a playoff, then you have identified a game.

If, in addition, you can do a structural analysis showing which ego states are active during
each transaction, and a clinical analysis which clarifies the advantages gained from playing it
and how they got started, then you can say that you have not only identified the game,
but that you understand it.
The items required for such an understanding can be put down as a "check list"

How To Verify A Script.

If the script is properly diagnosed, then it should be possible to find some elements
which can be treated quantitatively.
As an aid to the counselor, Berne has given a "script check list," consisting of questions
which are designed to elicit the maximum of information for each of the numerous items
required for a clear understanding of a script.

In Eric Berne's Book, “What Do You Say After You Say Hello”, you find a long script check list
in the back of the book.
I am not giving the complete list that he gives, but I am giving you certain parts of it
so that you can see the how the questions given to a client can reveal to you their script.

I. Prenatal Influences (Chapter 4)

1. What kind of lives did your grandparents lead?
2. What is your position in the family?
   What is the date of your birth?
   What is the birthday of your next oldest sibling?
   What is the birthday of your youngest sibling?

3. How many brothers and sisters do you have?
  How many children do you (does your Parent, Adult, Child) (want, expect) to have?
4. Were you wanted?
5. Did you want him?
    Was he planned?
6. How did your mother feel about your birth?
7. Who was there when you were born?
8. Have you ever actually read your birth certificate?
9. Who chose your name?
10. Whom were you named after?
11. What did they call you as a child?
   Did you have a nickname as a child?
12. What did the other kids call you in high school?
13. What do your friends call you now?
14. What does your mother, father, call you now?

Early childhood (Chapter 5)

1. How did your mother and father teach you table manners?
2. How did your parents make you feel when you were little?
    How did you feel about yourself when you were little?
3. What did you decide about life when you were little?
4. How did the world look to you when you were little?
    How did you feel about other people?
5. Do you remember as a child ever deciding that never again would you do a certain
   thing or show a certain feeling?
    Did you decide always to do a certain thing, no matter what?
6. Are you a winner or a loser?
7. When did you decide that?
8. What was your interpretation of what went on between your parents when you were little?
    What did you feel like doing about it?
9. What kind of people did your parents look down on?
     What kind of people do you dislike most?
10. What kind of people did your parents look up to?
     What kind of people do you like best?
11. What happens to people like you?

Middle Childhood (Chapters 6 & 7)

1. What did your parents tell you to do when you were little?
     What did they say to you when you were very little?
2. What were your parents' favorite slogan?
3. What did your parents teach you to do?
4. What did they forbid you to do?
5. If your family were put on the stage, what kind of a play would it be?

Later Childhood (Chapter 7)

1. What was your favorite fairy tale as a child?
    What was your favorite nursery rhyme as a child?
2. Who read it to you or told it to you?
     Where? When?
3. What did the reader say about it?
     How did she react to the story?
     What did her face say about it?
     Was she interested in it, or was she just reading it for your sake?
4. Who was your favorite character as a child?
     Who was your hero?
     Who was your favorite villain?
5. How did your mother react when things got tough?
6. How did your father react when things got tough?
7. What kind of feelings bother you the most?
8. What kind of feelings do you like best?
9. What is your most frequent reaction when things get tough?
10. What are you waiting for in life?
11. What is your favorite "if only?"
12. What kind of hassles did your parents get into?
13. What games did you play with your parents when you were little?
14. How did your teachers get along with you at school?
15. How did the other kids get along with you as school?
16. What did your parents talk about at the dinner table?
17. Did your parents have any hang-up's?

Adolescence (Chapter 8)

1. What do you talk about with your friends?
2. Who is your hero today?
3. Who is the worst person in the world?
4. How do your parents behave when there is company around?
5. What do they talk about when they are alone or with their friends?
6. Have you ever had a nightmare?
    What kind of a world do you see in your dreams?
7. Tell me about any dream you ever had?
8. Had you ever had any delusions?
9. How do people look to you?
10. What is the best thing you can do with your life?
11. What is the worst thing you can do with your life?
12. What do you want to do with your life?
13. What do you expect to be doing five years from now?
     Where do you expect to be 10 years from now?
14. What is your favorite animal?
     What animal would you like to be?
15. What is your life slogan?
     What would you put on your sweatshirt so people would know that you were coming?
     What would you put on the back of it?

Maturity (Chapter 9)

1. How many children do you expect to have?
2. How many times have you been married?
3. How many times has each of your parents been married?
    Did they have any lovers while they were married?
4. Have you ever been arrested?
    Has either of your parents ever been arrested?
5. Have you ever committed any crimes?
    Has either of your parents' done likewise?
6. Have you ever been in a mental hospital?
    Has either of your parents?
7. Have you ever been hospitalized for alcoholism?
    Has either of your parents?
8. Have you ever attempted suicide?
    Has either of your parents?
9. What would you do in your old age?

Death (Chapter 10)

1. How long are you going to live?
2. How did you pick that age?
     Who died at that age?
3. How old was your father, mother (if not living) at death?
     How old was your maternal grandfather when he died? (For males)
     How old were your grandmothers when they died? ( For females)
4. Who will be at your deathbed?
     What will their last words be?
5. What will you leave behind?
6. What will they put on your tombstone?
7. What surprises will they find after you are dead?
8. Are you a winner or a loser?
9. Do you prefer time structure or event structure? (Explain terms)

Biological Factors (Chapter 13)

1. Do you know how your face looks when you react to something?
2. Do you know how other people respond to your facial reactions?
3. Can you tell the difference between your Parent ego state, your Adult ego state,
   and your Child ego state?
     Can other people tell the difference in you?
     Can you tell the difference in other people?
4. How does your real self feel?
5. Does your real self always control your actions?
6. Do you have any sexual hang-ups?
7. Do things go round and round in your head?
8. How far ahead do you begin to worry about things before they happen?
9. How long do you worry about things after they are over?
    Do you ever lie awake at night planning revenge?
    Do your feelings interfere with your work?
10. Do you like to show that you're able to suffer?
    Would you rather be happy than prove yourself?
11. What do the voices in your head tell you?
12. Do you ever talk to yourself when you are alone?
    When you are not alone?
13. Do you always do what the voices in your head tell you?
    Do your Adult or Child ever argue with your Parent?
14. What are you like when you are a real person?

Berne has listed so many others on his checklist.
I have listed some that I have used.
Since I am familiar with most of my members, I am already aware of many answers
to the above questions.
Therefore, I am selective about the questions that I asked.

Berne has also provided a Condensed Check List on page 435 of his book,
What Do You Say After You Say Hello”.

These questions are more "natural" and less intrusive, and in most cases will promote
rapport rather than challenging it.

1. What kind of lives did your grandparents lead?
2. What is your position in the family?
3. Who was around when you were born?
4. Where does your surname come from?
5. Whom were you named after?
6. What did they call you as a child?
7. Do you have any nicknames?
8. Were you constipated as a child?
9. What happens to people like you?

10. What did your parents say to you when you were little?
11. What was your favorite fairy tale as a child?
12. What did the reader say about it?
13. How did your parents react when things got tough?
14. What kind of feelings bother you the most?
15. What did your parents talk about at the dinner table?
16. Do your parents have any hang-ups?
17. Tell me about any dream you ever had?
18. Have you ever had any delusions?
19. What do you expect to be doing five years from now?
20. What would you put on your sweatshirt so people would know it was you coming?

21. Have you ever attempted suicide?
22. What will you do in your old age?
23. How long are you going to live?
24. How did you pick that age?
25. What will they put on your tombstone?
26. What will you put on your tombstone?
27. Are you a winner or a loser?

28. Do you know how your face looks when you react to things?
29. Does your real self always control your actions?
30. Do you have any sexual hang-ups?
31. How far ahead do you began to worry about things?
32. How long do you worry about things after they are over?
33. Do you like to show other that you are able to suffer?
34. What do the voices in your head tell you?
35. Can you tell me any dream you ever had?

(Questions the therapist asks himself)

1. What is the script signal?
2. Is he having hallucinations?
3. Where do the OK words come from?
4. What are the security phrases?
5. Who is she consulting?
6. What is the story of his life?

Questions to ask the client:
How do you think your treatment will end?
What has to happen before you can get well?

A Therapy Check List

1. Do your friends now call you by the name you like?
2. Are you an OK person?
3. Are you free of delusions?
4. Have you changed your childhood decision?
5. Have you stop doing destructive things your parents ordered you to do?
6. Can you now do constructive things your parents forbade you to do?
7. Do you have a new hero, or see the old one differently?
8. Have you stopped collecting trading stamps?

9. Are you living right now?
10. Have you given up saying "if only" or "at least"?
11. Have you given up playing the games your parents played?
12. Have you taken off your sweatshirt?
13. Has your dream world changed?
14. Have you given up your script payoff: prison, hospital, suicide?
15. Are you going to live longer than you used to think?
16. Have you changed your last words?
17. Are you aware of how your facial reactions affect other people?
18. Do you know which ego state is in charge at any given moment?

19. Can your Adult talk straight to your Parent and Child?
20. Have you stopped hedging when you say something?
21. Have you stopped smiling and laughing when you describe your own errors?

22. Have you stopped playing games with him or her?
23. Are you able to stop playing games before they began?
24. Do you think you have got cured rather than just made progress?

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